SamTastic Weekly Tip: 4/7/26 - Four Suggestions from Communications Guru Jefferson Fisher.
- Jim Mercer
- 3 days ago
- 2 min read
This week’s tip: Four Suggestions from Communications Guru Jefferson Fisher.
What to do when where 'winning' the argument is impossible and 'connection' is not a desired outcome.
The goal here is to shift control. Use flat statements that can’t be twisted, like: “Noted.” “Understood.” Keep your responses short and in a neutral tone. Make minimal eye contact and give no explanations. Silence can’t be misquoted.
Define your scope up front and repeat it when they drift: “I’m not here to change your mind. I’m here to state my position once.” Then do it, once.
If they get disrespectful, name the behavior and leave: “This isn’t respectful. I’m done talking for today.” Calm, then gone. The power move here isn’t persuasion. It’s non‑participation in a rigged game.
How to Remember What to Say In the Moment
Get rid of the urge to say something back right away. Take ten seconds. Take a whole minute. Take a whole day. The conversation cannot happen any faster than you can respond. Try this: memorize some go-to phrases. Some of mine are “give me a second” or “I’m thinking”. As long as the other person doesn’t feel like you’re ignoring them, but you’re choosing your words carefully, they’ll usually give you the space.
How to express an opposing view without creating tension.
When you disagree with someone, the instinct is to lead with the disagreement. Don't. Start with where you align: "I'm sharing this because I know you value honesty." That one sentence tells them you're not against them, even if you disagree with their position.
From there, a simple perspective phrase does more work than most people realize. My favorites are "I see it differently" and "I take another approach." Both work because you're naming where you stand (not issuing a challenge).
Say less. Mean More.
Remember this: the fewer words you use, the more you actually say. This is a simple trick we use in the courtroom. The longer an answer, the more opportunity there is for miscommunication. Answer their question and only their question. The shorter the answer, the clearer it is. Every time.
Best for a great week,
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