SamTastic Weekly Tip – 1/10/22: Listen More

Today’s Tip: Listen More

How about a New Year’s resolution to improve your listening and speaking skills?

Research shows many leaders speak too fast when working with staff, students and parents. Here are four things to try:

1. Instead of responding with a statement, ask three questions first.

2. Pause. Silence is powerful. Count silently to five before responding.

3. Can you tell me more? This simple question invites people to share and gives you time to really understand their issue.

4. Assume a good intent…even when you have to suspend your disbelief.

Did you ever realize the perfect thing to say to somebody — only it’s too late, because you already said something less effective?

I hate when that happens. One way to have it happen less often is not to rush into saying things before you have to. A short pause can be sufficient–even just counting to five before replying.

I’d recommend saying this quietly, to yourself — although if you do it out loud intentionally, you’ll certainly send a message to the other person in your conversation.

In short, silence speaks volumes, and when you’re not talking, you’re most likely thinking, or even listening. You’re also not digging rhetorical holes. So the five second pause can be a powerful tool.

SamTastic Weekly Tip – 1/3/22: This has been a weird school year…

Today’s Tip:

This has been a weird school year…following a stressful and damaging first full year of the pandemic. We thought Covid would retreat with vaccine availability. We now understand that the pandemic, and the damage it wrought, isn’t over. It has simply mutated.

Usually, a school year starts with hope, enthusiasm and renewal. Usually, Christmas break and New Year’s Day creates a fresh infusion of positivity. That likely didn’t happen for most educators in August and might not today, either.

Uncivil behavior by airline passengers has captured our attention. But the truth is the same uncivil behavior can be seen throughout society and in our stores, roadways, offices and schools. It can be seen in how adults, parents and school staff, treat each other, how they interact with children and how children interact with everyone.

What does a leader, damaged by the pandemic like everyone else, do?

Try these approaches:

1. Go slowly. Show empathy instead of giving advice. Validate without getting stuck. Give yourself time to think through your response, or action.

• “I understand you are upset and concerned. I am, too. I need some time to think about this.”

• “I am concerned and know this is difficult. I want to think about possible solutions and will set a time to meet with you again.”

1. Focus on what you can do rather than what you can’t.

2. Be in the GREEN with TimeTrack but leave significant unscheduled time. You need time to think and recharge.

3. Keep your conversation with teachers, support staff, students and parents positive and proactive. Be a reassuring coach rather than a judgmental evaluator. Make your focus creating a safe and happy place for students.

4. Go home at a reasonable time. Keep in mind that your work as a school leader can never be finished and rest and time with family are necessary for you to be at your best.

SamTastic Weekly Tip: 11/9/20 - A Leadership Lesson from President-Elect Joe Biden

This week’s tip: A Leadership Lesson from President-Elect Joe Biden:

“Leadership, at its core, in my view, is about being personal. You always put yourself in the other person’s position, and then also to understand where they’re coming from, whether it’s a major foreign leader or a friend who you have a disagreement with. And it’s also being willing to share credit, give recognition, and share in the benefits as well as in the losses if you’re in an endeavor together.”

Leading successfully requires empathy. It is less about check-lists than checking-in. It is more about listening than telling, coaching than evaluating and building capacity than forcing compliance. As a SAM team you know success, improving teacher practice and student learning, happens with frequent, thoughtful and kind support. Your TimeTrack gives you the record of your work and the data to drive your creative thinking. Your SAM Daily Meeting makes this happen.

Enjoy the coming week and the positive spirit of renewal as the United States prepares to inaugurate the new president and vice-president.

This 11 Word Quote From Joe Biden Shows Why Empathy Is a Leadership Superpower

The importance of understanding how the decisions you make as a leader affects the people around you.

BY JASON ATEN, TECH COLUMNIST@JASONATEN

Leading people is all about influence. Sometimes influence comes from a position. For example, the Commander-in-Chief has influence over the armed forces by his or her position. Usually, though, it comes from relationships that develop over time.

That’s true, by the way, at almost every level of leadership-people follow leaders they trust, and who they believe have their best interests in mind. The challenge is that often people default to leading from their position and skip past the part about building relationships. That’s why this quote from former Vice President Joe Biden is such a great reminder of what really matters.

In an interview with Brene Brown, Biden said: “Leadership, at its core, in my view, is about being personal.”

One of the striking things about that quote is that, as a person running for the highest elected office, Biden didn’t say that leadership was about having the best ideas. He didn’t say it was about winning the most votes. It isn’t about being in charge. At its core, leadership “is about being personal.”

I think that view is right. Leadership is about being personal because leadership is about people. One of the most important aspects of leading people is the ability to understand and share their feelings. That, by the way, is empathy, and it’s a leadership superpower.

Regardless of how you might feel about Biden’s politics or policies, I think there’s a lot everyone can learn from that view on leadership. Leaders who are willing to carefully consider not just ideas, but the perspective and feelings of the people on their team are leaders who have teams that thrive. They’re the types of leaders that people want to follow, not just because they’re effective at getting things done, but because they’re effective at building into others.

Biden went on to say:

“You always put yourself in the other person’s position, and then also to understand where they’re coming from, whether it’s a major foreign leader or a friend who you have a disagreement with. And it’s also being willing to share credit, give recognition, and share in the benefits as well as in the losses if you’re in an endeavor together.”

As a leader, empathy means understanding that the decisions you make will affect the people around you. Sometimes it means seeing beyond conflict with another person to actually see the person. It means validating their circumstances and their experiences and seeking to understand how your leadership will affect their lives.

Because make no mistake, it will.

When you’re working on something, whether it’s campaigning for President or building a business, one of the hardest things to do is separate yourself from your mission. In the middle of trying to get something done, they often seem the same. The problem is that it can be easy to overlook the people you’re responsible for moving towards that mission.

Leaders often have to make calls that other people don’t agree with. That’s just a function of being responsible for a group of people, a project, or a country. The worst thing is for people to feel you don’t hear their concerns or input. On the other hand, when people know that you understand-and that you care-it becomes easier to trust your leadership even when they don’t agree.

By the way, and this is just a bonus, there was another four-word phrase the former Vice President used that’s just as valuable a lesson for leaders: “I don’t hold grudges.” That’s a pretty important mentality for anyone wanting to step and lead, and not just on a national scale.

Sometimes the people who can help you reach your goal are the same people you butted heads with in the past. Senator Harris said plenty of harsh things about Biden when the two were standing on debate stages during the primary. Still, at some point, if she was the person he felt was the best running mate, it would be foolish to let an old grudge get in the way.

Chances are, the same is true for you.